What is the age range of Millennials, anyway?

[yusaku]

Akage when I speak negatively of feminism I am speaking of the third wave feminism that is practiced now. Women voting and equal pay for equal work was addressed by the first and second wave feminists.

The third wave has a several fallacies. Here are two of them:

1. You can be a mother and have a full time career. You do not need the father.

There are only so many hours in a day. Employers work their people very hard. My work often leaves me very exhausted. Work is much harder to find and employers are a lot more demanding. Someone should be at home most of the time. It is only legal to leave kids that are fourteen or older at home alone. My mom really had to struggle to take care of me by herself. Most of my young cohorts got into trouble while mom was at work or home resting. Single motherhood is overtaxing women and leaving the kids too often poorly unsupervised. This new system is not working very well.

2. Women keep the benefits of the old gender roles and discard their traditional roles.

Now concerning gender roles, I always have too pay for all the women I date. There were a few exceptions where the ladies helped, but that was extremely rare. Women of today generally want the men to bankroll the relationship even if the ladies have income. I always had to provide or be ready to pay for everything. This slow economy has hit fellas really hard and made most of had to pause our dating endeavors. The women could pay for more now, but as a whole they do not.

The sharing in relationships is mostly gone. Never enough time is being spent just hanging out and just being together. Too many dinner dates, concerts, and pricey outings to compete with the other guys. I got an expensive watch and other expensive gear to keep the ladies looking, and pricey gear got maintenance costs. Dating is really taxing these days. What happened to equality?

[usamimi]

Again, I don't see what this has to do with the topic of this thread? If you wanna fight someone over what your idea of feminism is, maybe take it someplace, dude.

[yusaku]

We were talking about why life is so different in Gen X and Gen Y. That's how male and female roles in society came up. We just examining the differences between us and the Boomer generation.

However, I will keep to more friendly topics. I just thought the group may be ready to get their thoughts out there. It is a really heavy topic trying to define a generation. We may have to leave this question alone.

[Akage]

^ It's not that I mind discussing this, though preferably on a different thread, but you're doing a lot of overgeneralizing. The only Gen X/Y/Millennial women I have ever known who expected men to pay for everything are those that are incredibly attractive because they knew that they could easily replace any man with another that will cater to their wishes. The laid back and often not supermodel caliber women I know, myself included, offer and do pay for meals and drinks on date often. I never once dated any man and expected him to always pay. Nor did I ever make any stipulation that we had to eat at restaurants where the main course would run you at least $50/person. I'm rather partial to In & Out Burgers myself.

I mean, I get that you're pretty resentful, but I don't think it's fair to blame it on feminism or women in general. Yes, there's a lot of women with crappy personalities out there, but at the same time, there's also a lot of men who are real pieces of work too. I'm sure Usamimi and I could make an entire thread dedicated to some of the creeps we've met.

[davemerrill]

yeah, lots of generalizing going on here in terms of "what women expect on dates". I've been married for a while, but my experience is that the high-maintenance gals who expect their dates to have expensive watches and to pay for everything, they've always been around, and they'll continue to be around, and the various waves of feminism don't have a whole lot to do with it.

I've dated rich girls and poor girls and extremely middle class girls. and if they thought anything about my car or my watch, they kept it to themselves. In fact I usually didn't (and still usually don't) wear a watch. Sometimes I'd pay, and sometimes we'd go Dutch, and sometimes they'd pay. I've been on horrible dates that cost $$$ and wonderful dates that were to the dollar movies or to a state park. If you're enjoying each other's company, money is beside the point.

[yusaku]

Akage I must say it is kind of a relief that women like you exist. Too bad your group is not in Kansas City. I have gotten complaints from my dates about the times I was too casually dressed. Even the Plain Janes in this town will get snappy with me if I don't put on a good show. I date nice looking women, but they are no super models. Maybe they think I am too ugly or too fat and they want to take advantage. Maybe I should move out of the Midwest to somewhere more progressive. Yet, I am a conservative like most of the people in the Midwest; I just do not know why I can't do better with the ladies here. When I go to Chicago I can pick up the women easy. Here in Kansas It is tough.

Dave I do not know what to tell you. I am too shy to show you a picture; but I know I am not ugly. I should lose weight and get some new gear. Then try my luck next spring. Just like Bill Murray did on that movie Groundhog Day. I think I am a little on the picky side when it comes to dating; but not too picky. Thanks for continuing the conversation I kind of wanted to get things off my mind.

Being a Gen Xer it will take some time to adapt to this "new normal" and learn how to prosper in this social and financial climate. We got to learn go beat these corporate entities to regain and claim more gains for ourselves. I have several ideas:

1. Buy a tax delinquent housing cheap and fix it up instead of getting a mortgage.

2. Never buy new vehicles always get used vehicles.

3. If you are in graduate school you get very large student refunds. Use the refunds to keep your self capitalized.

4. Use Hulu and Netflix for your entertainment and only buy the rare DVDs. Do not keep a big cache of movies you can buy anytime or watch online.

5. Have a hobbies that are mostly free. I watch Netflix, Hulu, and play video games. Twenty five dollars a month is all I pay for those. I would also suggest learning to draw. Pencils and a sketch pad cost less than $20 and they will last for months. I found many teachers on YouTube that teach for free.

6. Learn to play an instrument. Now this is very expensive in the first four years, but has a huge cost efficiency later or you might get good enough to get paid. If you find an instrument(s) you like this may be for you.

7. Learn to cook and eat out only once or twice a month at most. Invite friends over instead of eating out. Or bring food for a picnic or a get together at some else's place.

8. Put money into savings every pay day and look for things you do not use to sell.

9. Invest in tools to fix your home and vehicle.

10. Build a social network of people who live near you. Go to church. Go to the gym. Go to the coffee houses. Take a community college course.

Please add to the list!

Some how I intend to be a success no matter how long it takes.

[usamimi]

Akage I must say it is kind of a relief that women like you exist. Too bad your group is not in Kansas City.

OK, this way of thinking needs to stop.

There's no "groups" of women that are good or bad. Women, like you, are individuals & deserve to be treated as such. You cannot blame every woman, or whatever "groups" of women you believe exist out there, that you've had bad luck in the dating scene.

I'll clue you in on a secret: Everyone has a hard time dating. EVERYONE.

Happy couples you see in public or know in your circle of friends didn't just magically happen. They're a product of many bad dates, breakups, and then FINALLY finding someone you click with.

If you aren't happy with the dates you're having, it has nothing to do with millenials, or feminism, or the poor economy. You just haven't found the person you want to be with yet. It's that simple.

Not happy with the type of people you're dating? Don't date those types of people. Look elsewhere. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's really all there is to it, dude.

I know this is the off topic board, but there's no reason this had to turn into a personal gripe over dating, esp when the topic was "how old are millenials". None of this has anything to do with how old millenials are. X___x

[Akage]

Maybe start a new topic, Yusaku? Just a thought, since this one has really gone off topic.

I still think you're overgeneralizing people. There are conservative people in parts of the country that you feel are more progressive, just as there are liberals in conservative areas too. What you see portrayed on TV is not always reality. You might think that Berkeley is one liberal hipster town because that's how it's portrayed in the media, but with prices in 1 million dollar range for a home, they have no desire to embrace socialism any time soon.

I also echo usamimi's sentiments regarding dating. Everyone has a hard time. It's just how you choose to deal with it. Some people are absolutely devastated if they have a bad experience. Other people dust themselves off, maybe learn something from the experience, and go on another date the following weekend. The best relationship advice I ever read was that no relationship is always 50/50. Most of the time, it's 30/70 and there's going to be a lot of days where you're the 30.


Also, this made me chuckle -

Build a social network of people who live near you...Go to the gym.

I've met some really interesting characters at the gym. My personal favorite was the guy who decided to watch me as I wiped off the rods of the elliptical machine I use, complimenting me on my hand technique. Ew

[Char Aznable]

I always thought Millennials were 25 and under, the generation born in the early 90s. But now it seems that Gen Y is often lumped in with them too. Honestly, the whole Millennial entitlement nonsense that the media perpetuates has grown tiresome. Every generation has their fair share of directionless, narcissistic, and deeply self-entitled members--and it's a myth that Millennials are, in any way, worse. It's just like the media-fueled mentality that the world is worst off now, when, in reality, there are less wars, conflicts and turmoil in the world today than there was 25 years ago. Statistically, the world is a safer place in 2016 than ever before in history. Sure, it's still far from perfect. The true irony is that many claim to not buy into media "propaganda"--but, in actually, more people buy into whatever the media feeds them-- and the illusion of constant threats, nonsensical 24/7 celebrity gossip, and the eye-catching headlines of the younger generation "wanting everything you have," makes for better copy and sells papers/brings in more ad revenue.

I've met some really interesting characters at the gym. My personal favorite was the guy who decided to watch me as I wiped off the rods of the elliptical machine I use, complimenting me on my hand technique. Ew

Wow. That's bad. A few years ago my friend dragged me to a single's night and it was painful to watch. Most of the guys techniques were either slimy pick up lines (and I don't exaggerate, some were just nasty) or practically following women around the bar like hungry animals stalking their prey. But I guess that's par for the course at a single's night. It was a bad scene all around, as most of the women there seemed quite inebriated as well. Needless to say, that was my last single's night.

[yusaku]

I read your posts an I can agree dating is hard for everyone. It has always been easier for me to group people together to make selection easier. That has not been working well so I will have to concede your case by case search method is better. I will try that next.