In the UK there's sort of been a split in events. I class them as conventions and events, despite their names. I attend mainly as a seller (illustration and comics), rarely as an attendee.
The UK does not have huge hotel capacity so these are the options we have for fandom. I find each 'category' brings it's own attitudes. Some work better for me, personally
● The events I really like are the smaller ones in hotels. There are many panels run by fans. Even if kids have just git into anime, it is usually uni students who can attend and afford the con rate and hotel room rate. You pay your money, you enjoy the environment. I attend as a convention-goer because of the fun atmosphere.
● There are bigger anime cons held at Uni campuses, which are a bit more tiresome and halls of residence are as noisy as I remember in my student days.

It takes a lot for me to attend these. Many are cosplayers. Sometimes I sell art at these but it is exhausting to do that and have no sleep, especially as a chronically ill person

I have not done these for years to be honest.
● There have been a number of "comic conventions" popping up in sports halls. These are attended by families and kids. Many cosplay. They are usually 1 day events in towns and cities. they act as introductory events for newcomers. They often do not spend money, expecially if it costs £20 or so for a family to get in

So they have to be local for me to be worth it. As an oldskooler there I've seen everything before, so I attend as a seller.
● Comic cons and events like MCM ReedPOP (who run NYCC) just bought out MCM Comic Con in the UK, so the first of their events has yet to be seen in 2018. I can't see much change, but I am hoping it will assist small press like myself. Everyone attends. Financially as a seller it is worth it as indie comickers get discounted tables. But demand for these are high. It's very much a sales brand event. But as they are so large I see oldskool friends and they find me behind m table, so it's a nice social event too
IMO at the mo, the best part of being an older fan is seeing old franchises get reboots. Then you can drift in from out of nowhere like "ohh, my sweet summer childe", to tell stories about the good old days about a mutual IP (Devilman Crybaby etc etc). They won't know about Danzig releasing Devilman comic under Verotik, the awwwful dub and so on. It helps connect
Maybe a lot of the disconnect problem is to do with mouthy people with no respect and too much time with a keyboard and internet connection. The inability to listen/read correctly, jump to assumptions then get hissy when trying to correct, god forbid even join in with stories. It's like you're taking away a supposedly special something. Makes no sense - anime has been around for years. Then again maybe that attitude say says a lot about our political climate in the western speaking English world too, but that's a whole hive of wasps I am not even gonna go near..!!