Gaijinpunch I believe that low expectations are at he root of the problem. People are just as "horny" as ever, but the man must believe that he will get the woman he desires to marry.
Agreed: I don't think libido is the problem. I think it's everything that comes along w/ getting laid that is the main turn off. And while you can go down the street and pay for a piece of ass legally, in the long run it is far cheaper (and I would say probably better quality than the average guy could get in a bar), why would you want to go through the disaster of a relationship?
While I agree with a lot of what you said, there's a few points. I think the underlying problem here is money. You mentioned women making as much or more than their male counterparts. There are some, but they are few. Very few. You can't be
105th in gender equality and have a strong corporate ladder for women. Again, some exist, and Japan is very pro-small business where women like this can shine. But it is still decades behind the US, and for those that choose that route, they are giving up the home life. There is almost nothing in place for a mom to do anything other than part time work. Japanese full time employment entails brutally long hours (with service overtime). Why would anyone hire a mom who had to go pick up the kids from day care at 5PM? It is difficult, but there are career mothers in the US.
The main reason I think money is the root cause here, is b/c it's the one thing the government has tried to do to get people to breed. Child birth is free, and you may even make a few bucks. There a stipends for people with young kids, depending on your salary. Day care is very cheap assuming both parents work. These are all incentives to offset the ridiculous cost of having a child: ridiculous rent cost for another room; pre-school, kindergarten + juku, elementary school + juku, middle school + juku, high school + juku. If your kid goes to the wrong kindergarten he's effed for life to an extent. This is getting into the social responsibilities of being a parent, which are a whole other can of worms worth talking about, but I won't get into it here.
There are more thirty-something and forty-something year olds looking for twenty to thirty year old women than you think.
Perhaps, but it's still too small of a number. Looking for 30 year olds I can buy... but it's not soon after that they are thrown to the curb. I've had tons of friends in this demographic in my 15 years here, and even way more acquaintances in the work place. There was an old saying that women were like Christmas Cake. Nobody was interested in them after the 25th. (Ouch!)
The reason I have so much to say on this topic is because of what I am seeing happening in the United States. I am seeing mem in their twenties not even dating. My neighbor is a young, thin, and good looking man.
Indeed -- however, America has the immigration flood gates open, so it has a very nice buffer. They don't have to make babies. Japan's immigration gates are barely cracked open... and for people that want to immigrate in, they have the same hurdles as Japanese, plus institutionalized racism to deal with. This paints a dark picture for Japan's future.
Smoking pot really isn't good for motivation to do anything really, except close the curtains and eat junk food and forget stuff. I'm not surprised someone like him doesn't date. He's a slacker, and hopefully not a good example of someone in their 20s. (I am probably wrong, though. America's gone down the crapper.)
Let's not jump the gun now. Marijuana stimulates creativity... something Japan has slowly been losing for a long time. I'll spare the argument, but note that my opinion is that the aging population has a huge effect on this. Do you enjoy any Apple products at all? Well, you can
chalk that up to LSD. The only thing that makes him a slacker is him sitting on his sofa and playing games all day. The games are most likely more to blame than any of it, but ultimately it's his decision. Go to California. Half of the state is fully functional pot heads, and when I say full functional, I mean like executives at Fortune 500 companies. Not burger flippers.
Finally...
Temp work
Yes, I've temped in Japan. It is brutal but at least if you work in finance and some technical sectors you can expect a substantially higher pay, and it's not unheard of to get an hourly salary. Some will put you on a monthly salary, and w/ the declining economy I can't imagine it getting any easier for contract employees, but I do know of some people that have such a set up, and they actually get some good dough. Sucks when they go on vacation though!
But I know what you mean about the creativity.